Thursday, September 6, 2012

Day 34 of Captivity: Bachelor Pad Day

It's been 34 days since my life as a blissful college student ended. 34 days of virtual exile from the life and times of anyone remotely interesting. Due to my recent unfortunate running injuries (more to come on that later) I am basically confined to my couch or my bed from the time I wake up (some time after noon, I won't get into specifics to protect the guilty) until the wee hours of the morning when I go to sleep. Since reading a book is an all-in-one-sitting kind of thing for me, which is obviously a time consuming endeavor, I've sustained myself with television. Constant and mind-numbing television. Due to the fact that all of the quality shows of the season have not yet debuted, I am left with whatever obsession that carried over from my time as a lazy college student (which is much different from my time as a lazy non college student; don't judge).

This brings us to my activity of the day: catching up on my missed episodes of Bachelor Pad. I stumbled upon this wonderfully horrible show midway through its second season. I was intrigued by the combination of a Real World style challenge game mixed with the romance and drama of The Bachelor/Bachelorette. In about an episode and a half I was hooked. Characters I'd seen before in my spotty watching of The Bachelor and The Bachelorette appeared in a context I didn't expect, and I LOVED IT! When I discovered the adorable and heartbroken Michael Stagliano there was no going back. I'm convinced he's the perfect guy, and I've even pitched a reality show to ABC featuring me and him in a romantic situation. Or maybe I just pitched it to my college roommate. Whichever; he's precious, and a large part of the reason I watch that mess of a show.

Upon moving back in with my parents my usual pattern of TV watching was thrown off a bit and I began missing a good chunk of episodes of my favorite guilty pleasure. Having no other plans today, and avoiding the painting job I have yet to do on some old furniture, I decided that I would catch up on my backlog of episodes. I started on episode 3 and wound up watching all of the 5 episodes that remained between me and being able to watch the finale live on Monday. Word to the unwise, each episode of Bachelor Pad is 2 hours on TV. Online without commercials it runs about 81 minutes. That's an hour and 20 minutes of juicy drama in each episode. Times 5. I watched a total of 6 hours and 45 minutes of Bachelor Pad today. And man, my head is spinning. The hookups, the fights, the vote-offs; I can barely even keep their names straight at this point.

As any good TV addict knows, watching a large quantity of episodes in one sitting does something to the mind. It's like reading a book for too long: you get sucked in. I remember when I was in the heat of my Gossip Girl kick I was practically writhing with annoyance for Serena Van Der Woodson. I was totally team Blair, and was literally sending Gossip Girl blast texts out to my friends. It changes you. With Bachelor Pad being more of a reality/game show than a deeper story that wasn't as much an issue, but I still couldn't wait to see what happened next. When the house hated Chris, I hated Chris. When everyone oohed and ahhed at the newly formed couples I too oohed and ahhed. It was as if I was in the house with them, getting inebriated, being ridiculously beautiful and causing drama for the enjoyment of America. But of course, that's what good TV is about; reeling in us poor unfortunate watchers who can't look away from the screen even if we know what we're watching is pure and utter crap.

So, as sad as it may seem, that basically sums up my day in a nutshell. I'm pathetic, love bad TV, and can't wait to see Michael Stagliano's gorgeous face in the finale on Monday. Ahhh, my life.

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